


Heroes are Extinct and Chivalry is Dead

by zandral



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: FemThorin, Multi, Rule 63, modernau
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2013-05-01
Packaged: 2017-12-09 13:18:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/774645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zandral/pseuds/zandral
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin was a practical Dwarf, who carried her burdens by herself with her head held high and chin always up. She had responsibilities and duties that made her time far too busy for settling down with anyone, and no hobbit will change that..right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. There lived in the building, a Dwarf.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this urge..and so I did this. Thorin as a woman sounds fun! I even kept the races, oh god why did I keep the races, so she has a beard, and looks like Thorin, but more..womanily?

There are many stories that start with heroes and princesses, dragons and knights in shining armor. This is not one of those stories; this story begins in a small apartment in the middle of New York, with a kitchen as big as the hallway and a Dwarven woman with more troubles than anyone should have for the age of One hundred and thirty-five. Thorin woke up and starched her arms over her head, hearing the noises of the city down below her blare through her window. Grumbling, she ran her fingers through her long black hair and got up to get a cup of coffee. It was a Thursday, and that meant she had to go to the auto shop early that day for her shift, before she left to pick up her nephews from school, and finally going to the bar she worked at every other day, tending to the drunks and low lives of the city with a smile.

She never had to work two jobs before two years ago, the auto shop being the only job she needed to support just herself. Two years ago was when Dis, Thorins younger sister, had been diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, and has been fighting it since. The medical treatments were hell, and it had left Dis too weak to work, so Thorin did it for her and her nephews. With Thorins’ help, Villis’, Dis’ dead husband, insurance compensation from the army, and full health coverage to help pay for the medical bills, Dis was able to keep living in a small three story apartment that she and Villi rented out rooms to people. There has not been a tenant for a year or so, minus a relative coming over to visit from a different part of the city.

Before all that happened though, ten years ago she never had to worry about working to survive, but when her father made a grave error of trusting a stock broker outside of the family, they lost it all. Thorin was still bitter after ten years, knowing that the money would have been helpful with Dis’ situation, and maybe even got her the surgery she needed. Even though they had petitioned for the last year, the insurance agencies have still refused to let Dis get the surgery, because none of their doctors or surgeons on their roll could perform the needed operation. Besides, to them a dwarf having cancer shouldn’t be an issue, they’re hardy folk, and can handle Chemo so much better than other races. Tell that to Dis when she’s puking three times a day.

Grumbling softly, Thorin moved to her refrigerator and got out a cold taco to for breakfast, leftover from last night. Eating quickly, she soon got dressed and ready for the shop, walking to her front door, putting on her fathers old leather coat, and walking quickly out the door, keys in hand. She figured that she had twenty minutes before her-

“THORIN” Make that twenty seconds before her landlady came. Turning around, she frowned at Lobella Sackville-Baggins, a Hobbit who was very much the biggest bitch the Dwarf had the misfortune to meet. Her face red with anger, Lobella let the dwarf have it, pointing a finger up at the woman. “You’ve been late on the rent again! That’s twice this year!” Lobella yelled into the hallway. Groaning, Thorin slumped onto the doorframe. She knew this, payday came late this month and she had already told Lobella’s husband, the actual landlord, who accepted this. It looked like his wife thought otherwise.

“Apologies, I meant no ill, look Mrs. Baggins, I have to run to work-“

“You better run to a new apartment Durin! Do you know what being late means? Or do dwarves not know how to tell time?” Lobella scolded. Taking deep breaths, Thorin turned and walked away, promising her rent will be with hand delivered tonight after she came home from work. This earned a few scoffs and a slammed door, but Thorin paid no heed to it. She got down to the sidewalk when her phone started to ring. Walking down the street, Thorin picked up her phone while waiting for the light to change. “Thorin.” She said, walking the crosswalk.

“Hey there oak” A trembling voice said over the phone. Smiling softly at the childhood name, Thorin turned left onto her work as the cars honked on by. 

“Dis, you sound better than last time I talked to you, treatment going well this month?” Thorin asked her sister, who chuckled over the phone. It was normal for Thorin to lie to her sister about such things, and Dis always let her. They both knew she was stable, no positive or negative change. 

Hearing a small cough over the phone, Thorin hesitated before crossing the next intersection. If she turned the corner, she could be at her sisters’ place in five minutes. Hell, she may do it anyway. “Shut up you, I need a favor.”

“I’m on my way.”

“No, not now, later.” Dis said with a damaged laugh. “Turn back around and keep going to work you worry wart.” Thorin smiled to herself and turned back to her work. 

“Then when?” Thorin asked, quickly crossing the street. Her sister never asked for favors, Thorin just did the work around the apartment without prompt of permission whenever she saw something broken, even if her sister felt guilty for not being able to do anything to say thanks. She would make sweet rolls for Thorin every time, and as the dwarf maiden had once told her young sister, that was payment enough.

Hearing Dis say something to one of the boys, most likely to behave while Balin walked the boys to school today, Thorin waited. Their grandfathers’ old friend and stockbroker, he has always been there for the Durins, and they have been grateful for it since day one. “Tomorrow I have a renter coming in!” Dis said happily over the phone.

“That’s wonderful!” Thorin exclaimed, while really worring about the woman who would be living with her sister and nephews. “What’s her name?”

“…Bilbo.”

Thorin stopped in the middle of the road, trying to be calm. “That sounds like a boys name Dis.” She said as cars honked at her. Flipping the driver off, she kept walking. 

“He’s a hobbit, his full name is Bilbo Baggins and-“

“Oh Aule, I’m coming over and changing your locks woman. The Baggins family!?” Thorin exclaimed. “They’re my landlords and the woman of the building is worse than that pale orc grand dad told stories about to us.”

Thorin heard a scoff on the other side of the phone and the dwarf knew her sister was rolling her eyes. “Oh please, he’s the sweetest little thing. Owns a book store in Manhattan, wanted to come over to our district to live because he said, and I quote ‘it’s quite a charming area’. No evil bone in his gay little body.” 

This earned a raised eyebrow from Thorin, walking now into the shop and waving at Dwalin. “Gay?”

“Flaming. I could see rainbows come out his ass as he was leaving. I think my honor is safe.” Dis added with a chuckle, setting something down onto the stove. Shaking her head, Thorin tried to get into her gear as she kept talking to her sister. 

“I’ll come over tomorrow, Bofur can cover me here at the shop,” Thorin heard a small ‘hey!’ in the background from the man in conversation “and Ori owes me for letting him get away with making out in the bars restroom with a certain DWARF WHO STILL OWES ME FOR DISTRACTING THE BOYS MOTHER HEN! DWALIN.”

“AWW STUFF IT THORIN.” Came a reply as Thorin could hear her sister laughing hard into the phone. 

“Well I’ll let you go to work then, I got to get ready for my…” Dis sighed softly. “You know.”

Sighing with her sister, Thorin placed her head on the cool surface of the locker. “We’ll get you that surgery Dis, then no more Thursday Chemo. Promise.” 

“Love you Oak.”

“Yeah, don’t be mushy Dis.”

“Please Oakey, for me?”

Grumbling softly, Thorin smiled, “Love you too Vine.” Thorin flipped off her co-workers, who all chanted ‘AWWWW’ at her words, but smiled still as she heard Dis laugh. Hanging up her phone, she glared at her team of bastards. “What?” She grumbled. “Can’t a gal say I love ya to her sister?”

“No.” Dwalin said with a hint of cheek in his tone.

“Bastards.” Thorin told them all with a smile twitching at the corners of her lips, punching the bigger dwarfs arm before getting to work. She had a busy day ahead of her, and she was happy enough for it so she didn't have to dwell on tomorrow.


	2. Bar meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorins night at the Prancing Pony

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now just so you guys know, there are the different races here in the story. Hobbits, Dwarfs, elves, Orcs and humans. Wizards are here too. The ages are changed a bit for when someones mature, as what normally happens in history, but the general culture aspects are still there.

Going around the Prancing Pony in a small uncomfortable skirt while serving drunken men was not Thorins definition of a good time, she loathed it more then she hated Elves. In fact, more than twice has she almost knocked a man out for slapping her ass, but because Bifir, Bofur’s cousin who took the job as bouncer two weeks ago, always kept a close eye of the dwarf maiden, she hasn’t had to pummel anyone lately.

“Miss, excuse me.” A timid voice says in the far left corner of the bar. That area was reserved for what the owner called ‘Small folk’ with the seats and tables low enough for dwarfs and hobbits to comfortably relax on. Even on this side, the bar was lower  to help hobbits not be afraid of falling so high from their seats. Looking over at the area, Thorin saw a hobbit with reddish blonde hair smiling nervously at her.

Learning a bit about hobbits from her work, Thorin could tell this gentlehobbit was rolling in dough. His vest was velvet red, and he had a yellow poke-a-dot scarf around his neck. Trying to bite down a smirk, Thorin figured this hobbit just came from Eastern New York, where there were some Hobbit towns. Walking over to the hobbit, Thorin took out her pen and pad, giving the man a fake smile. “What can I get you sir?” She asked kindly, for her job required her to be kind.

The hobbit looked up at her and smiled, folding his hands on the table politely and giving the dwarf his full attention. “Well I’m new in town,” Thorin mentally rolled her eyes, wanting to say no shit “and so I was wondering if you could perhaps tell me the best brews to choose. “ The man finished with a kind and trusting smile.

Giving it some thought, because as a dwarf she did know the best ales in the city even if that fact was a bit sterotyping, “Well,” Thorin began “Depends on what you prefer sir. Darker brews you want the Ri’s batches of Beer and Ale. They always remind me of woods and outdoors. If you like a lighter brew, we do carry some Ale that comes from local Hobbit brewers.”  Thorin finished her explanation, finding it slightly endearing that the man was paying every word she say with such focused attention, though she knows many hobbits do this because they are so polite not to do anything but. The first time a hobbit did something like this, Thorin was on edge until someone explained the way Hobbits worked. She now found it nice to know that some people still have manners in the world.

The Hobbit took some time to think before grinning at Thorin, who felt an honest smile fall from her lips at the sight. “Well I’ve never tried Ri’s brew, so may I have an Ale of anything they’ve made please?” Writing down the order, already thinking about how the October Ale that had some pumkin brewed into it would be perfect to demonstrate hoe good that Brewery was to the hobbit, Thorin nodded her head.

“Right, you want a Toby Ale, it’s got some pumkin in it so it’s dark and has the bite to it, but still turns out sweet.” Thorin explained as Nori, the other water on call for the night, walked past with two ales in his hand.

“Just like Thorin here!” He said with a bark of laughter. Glaring at the man with a look that could kill death, Thorin heard a small chuckle from the hobbit, and turned to look at him.  He was looking up at Thorin with no malice, or teasing, which made Thorin not want to spit in his Ale for laughing at her.

“I’m sorry for the chuckle miss, but I was just thinking about asking for your name when he walked past.” The hobbit explained, holding out a hand for Thorin to shake. “Though since he already answered my question, I should give you mine.” Thorin could not help but smile at the hobbit; he was very kind, and not bad looking if she was being honest with herself.

“I suppose you should.” The dwarf said with some humor in her voice, making the hobbit chuckle once more. Before she could get the name out of him though, a whistle came from a table she had been serving.

“Oi! We need the check!” One of the drunks yelled. Rolling her eyes, and watching the Hobbit do the same, she started to walk over to them. Looking back she held up her notebook signaling that she had his order before she walked into the crowd.

“Bilbo!” Thorin heard from the table. Turning to look back, the hobbit’s face was red, but he was brave and persisted. “Bilbo Baggins.” Blinking, Thorin nodded and quickly walked to the drunks table, writing out the drunken mens check before almost running into the kitchen.

“Thorin?” A voice asked quietly. Looking up, Thorin saw Ori, the other waiter for the night. Taking a deep breath, Thorin started making the drinks for Bilbo. The same man who Dis swore was gay and was moving into the apartment tomorrow.

“I’m fine.” She grumbled, hearing Ori blush and turn away. Ori was one of the quietest dwarfs Thorin had ever met. He was trying to get his PhD in History to become a professor at the college. It’s what Dori, his older brother, wanted for him, but once Thorin had spotted the kid drawing Dwalin with such detail and care that Thorin could tell that the kid wanted to do that for the rest of his life. Well, both art and Dwalin, but she didn’t really want to think of her best friend and the kid having sex.

Sighing, she pointed out the kitchen door with an acusing finger. “Dis’ new renter is out there.”

“Oh! You mean Bilbo?” Ori said with a grin. Raising her eyebrow, Thorin looked at the boy with confusion. Coughing, Ori scratched the back of his head. “Oh, well, Bofur and I went down to Dis’ house the day he was interviewed and we thought he was a decent sort.” Ori looked away for a moment and busied himself with making some cheesy fries while Thorin just looked peeved.

Grumbling, she walked back out with the Baggins Ale and placed it down on the table so hard it sloshed out some of the foam, startling the Hobbit. Looking up at Thorin, the hobbit looked confused, and a bit flustered. “Thorin, is everything-“

“Dis is my sister.” She said plainly, sitting down across from the man. Bilbo’s eyes widened as he realized who Thorin was talking about and smiled.

“Oh! Pleasure to meet you, the boys were-“ Bilbos cheery voice dwindled as he saw Thorins glare harden at the mention of the boys and he soon just stopped talking. It was as if he was being interrogated by the police, and Bilbo did not like this feeling. Scratching the back of his head, he looked for something to say, but Thorin stood up with an exhausted sigh.

Leaning on the table, she looked the hobbit in the eyes, “Look, you seem like a decent bloke, but my sis has a lot of shit thrown her way and if you cause her any grief I will throw you out the third story window and happily go to jail for it.” The dwarf maiden then smiled a sarcastic and spiteful grin. “Now nod agreeing so I can deal with those bastards throwing peanuts at Ori.”

Bilbo’s eyes flickered to the side where he indeed saw a waiter being bullied. Nodding his head, Thorin grunted before moving to save the poor boy. Glaring at the men as if they were a bunch of orcs, they stopped quickly.  They were regulars and knew hell hath no fury then Thorins.

When the shift was over, Thorin thanked Aule that she had only an hour left after dealing with Baggins, she tallied up her tips. After helping with the move Thorin was going to take Kili and Fili out to see the new Iron Dwarf movie. Iron Dwarf was Kili’s favorite while Fili was waiting for the new Captain America movie. Thorin already swore that she would take the two next year to it.

“Hey Thorin, you forgot your tip over here!” Nori shouted at the small corner. Frowning in confusion she made her way over to see Nori holding up the bills and also a napkin. “And look at this.” Nori said with a sassy wink “A phone number to boot!”

Grumbling, Thorin took the five dollars and was about to throw it in the garbage when she took a peak at the signature. _Baggins_.

_Dear Thorin,_

_Thank you for the advice on darker brews. I am aware of what Lady Dis is going through and I will try not to burden her. Might I have your number so I can call you if there is a problem with my apartment? Though I doubt there will be since whoever does her repairs is quite a perfectionist.._

_Call or text me if you’d like._

_Sincerely_

_Mr. Bilbo Baggins._

Looking at the message one more time, Thorin pocketed the napkin before leaving that night. As she walked home, Thorin had to give the hobbit credit, the man was sincere. Usually men who wanted to live in Dis’ apartment were assholes; they were thrown out by Dwalin and herself personally. This man though, Thorin smiled as she crossed the New York Street, he seemed likely to stay a while.

Though he defiantly was not gay, Thorin was almost positive, and she would have to break the news to Dis tomorrow before Bilbo got there.

**Author's Note:**

> Can you all tell I'm really trying to keep parts of the story in here? This is the longest first Chapter I've ever written..


End file.
